there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
