even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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