Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
