the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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