Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
