Pregnant stripper...not hot.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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