Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
