u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
