I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
