It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
