hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
