I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Im part way to drunk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
