they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
