I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
