i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
