before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
