my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
