You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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