he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
