is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
