He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Did I show you my penis last night?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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