i jhust puked up my retainher.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize