Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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