You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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