i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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