White coat. Heels.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
