Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
