we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
