I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize