got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
