ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
