I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
