Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
