Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize