let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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