physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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