I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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