i think i have herpe
just one?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
