yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
