Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
