WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
im calling her cock vulture from now on
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
