they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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