I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize