I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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