You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
