Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
