The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
