i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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