He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
being pregnant is like rehab
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
