Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
