in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
