I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
