when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
