We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
