I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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