my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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